That is to say when faced with the truth about what is really going on, there is a part in each of us that knows the truth.
Authentic Truth – The truth is the truth, and the truth is undeniable.Our recommendation is to accept the present and talk about what is happening now to discuss what actions can be taken to make a difference in the current situation. The past is simply a referent point that is sometimes useful but can be used to blame and hold people accountable for things they cannot change. This is an agreement not to dredge up the past. Acceptance – Acceptance means embracing what is, as it is.
FIERCE CONVERSATIONS HOW TO
You need to learn how to step in and step out of the different perspectives. This is really about taking a fifth person perspective in order to utilize first, second, third, and fourth person without getting caught in those perspectives. You need to evaluate the conversation from a third person perspective.
State of Witnessing – The second stage is to take a step back and become objective. We commit to hold the other person in unconditional positive regard. Whether the discussion is one on one or is with a group, this involves an agreement that we care about each other above and beyond the behaviors we are talking about. Here you learn to separate the behaviors from the person. This first step builds the strength for the system to hold the heat of the conversation. It is the basic acceptance of the other person regardless of his opinions or actions. Unconditional Positive Regard – This is a concept developed by psychologist Carl Rogers. Like a crucible, fierce conversations are built upon fragile frames but have the ability to withstand heated discussions that lead to significant outcomes.īelow are the seven principals of fierce conversations to practice should you wish to engage people more fully and improve your relationships. Michael Hall, a leader in the field of NLP compares fierce conversations to a crucible.Ī crucible is a fragile container, often made of graphite, which holds hot molten metal during the purification process. In our view, framing is the most critical element within a fierce conversation. Fierce conversations are about communicating in a direct, dynamic and effective way.
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